went for the annual tombsweeping today..swept a total of 3 tombs - great-granny, granddad and grandmother..they passed away when i was young, but somehow when i stood by their graves offering incense, memories poured down on me..
Great-granny - i dont have much recollections about her cos my memory span of her is real short..she was this old lady who loved to sit in her rocking chair, fan herself, and order my grandmother around..we couldnt communicate cos i din understand hakka, and she couldnt do mandarin..the most i could do was greet her "ah-tai" and "si-fon"- which literally meant eat rice..
Granddad - a handsome retiree who occasionally did odd jobs when the market required him to..being a bird lover, grand's place had bird cages everywhere, and it came with all the chirping, making the place so noisy and lively..he used to really dote on me alot!!i know using "really" and "alot" together is redundant, but that just shows how much he loved me..we would go over every weekend, and when we did, granddad would bring me, along with my siblings and cousins down to the playground, taking meticulous care of me, and buy me sweets, ice-pops/ice-cream, almost whatever i wanted, i got..though his pockets werent full, he always made it a point to make his dearest grandchild smile..i was like the tyrant of the family, until the birth of my younger cousin..she stole the limelight away from me, including my granddad's love.. ="(
Grandmother - being the traditional/authentic Hakka lady, she was diligent, thrifty and able to suffer hardships..i remember there was once my sister and i stayed over at grand's place, which was where my twin cousins used to stay too..it was time for our bath, but the 4 of us took off our clothes, and started running around the place naked..lol..grandma was chasing after us with a cane in her hand, trying to "grab" us into the bathroom.. =)
grand's place was located at tampines, and the 5th storey view of the rising sun was just breath-taking..the breeze was cooling and the breakfast was great..hurhur..
anyway, back to the tombsweeping..the Chinese have this practice of "sheng bei", as in asking the spirits for agreement or permission??something like that..its throwing 2 coins, and if one is heads and the other is tails, it means that the deceased has given the green light..and at the tombs, we had to do this to ask if they have finished indulging in the food we prepared, and if we can keep the food and leave..i volunteered to ask my granddad for permission..before throwing the coin, the gush of emotions was so overwhelming I was trying real hard to control my tears..or maybe it was just the incense paper burning..i told granddad who iwas, if he still had any recollections of me, and if he was done with the meal..then i threw the coin, and its a heads and a tails..ridiculously, i felt proud of myself..my relatives then reassured me that i was still the one that granddad loved and doted the most.. =DD
over at grandmother's tomb, my uncle told me to throw the coins as well..my feelings for my grandmother werent as strong, cos in the last few years of her life, she was bedridden, and had lost the ability to communicate..an occasional grasp of the hand, or a weak smile let us all know that she still remembers us, and appreciates us for being there..anyway, i did as i was told, mumbled the same things to grandma, and tossed the coins.. she had agreed on our request..
though the event took all morning, and i was totally drained after, i'm glad i made the effort to go and pay my respects to them..the feeling was good..in the recent years, not a single grandchild went and i suppose if my grandparents knew, they would be so upset that their love on us was so wasted..at least this year's turnout wasnt too bad, 4 grandchildren showed up.. =D Not to forget, the bonding with the relatives, totally priceless..
i hope i dream of my grandparents tonight..
And yes, this is a new blog with a totally un-organised first entry.. =)
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